How to Grope your Boyfriend’s Aunt on Thanksgiving

It’s true.  It happened.  

Now before I dive hands first into this story I must first defend myself just a touch.  The definition of “grope” is actually quite innocent, you perverted freaks.  According to the word “grope” means “to feel about with ones hands.” or “to search blindly or uncertainly.”  And now I will tell you how I did this to Ryan’s aunt.

It was early afternoon the day of Thanksgiving.  I had enjoyed a fantastic morning with Ryan and his family and we were waiting for his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to arrive for the big meal.  

Ryan’s family is tall.  So tall that whenever I hug any of them (and we are a huggy bunch) I wrap my arms around their waists.  I nuzzle my head into their armpits with hands at their midsections.  This is never awkward.  This is natural.  Until Aunt Becky walks in.

Aunt Becky is not tall.  Aunt Becky is actually an inch or so shorter than myself.  Aunt Becky was holding a dog in her left hand.  I approached Aunt Becky on her right side and went in for the hug.  Hand went to the left side of her waist.  Hand was deterred because of dog.  Hand went to right side of waist.  I am slowly realizing that I am not hugging a tall person.  Hand landed on breast instead of tall person waist.  Hand squeezed breast (lovingly).  Stunned silence. Uproar of laughter.  An attempted explanation.  More laughter.  In the end, I blamed it on the (strong) bloody mary Ryan had made me earlier in the day and I walked off in mortified shame.  

I’m fairly certain neither of us felt weird about it after the initial moment of fondling, however, I will continue to tell the story over and over.  I grabbed my boyfriend’s aunt’s boob – it just doesn’t get much better than that.

To Uncle Jeff, you lucky guy,