I didn’t do it!

A couple months ago, I saw a Facebook status that brought about an immediate fit of laughter, followed by an abrupt stifling of this fit of happiness when I thought, ‘Is he being serious?’

It was daylight savings. The status read,

“We lose an hour of sleep tonight.

Thanks Obama.”

Obviously, he couldn’t possibly be serious, since our POTUS has no control of time and hours and rotation of the earth, or the way our calendar is managed by each; I still found a moment to question if he did find a way to blame someone for the sleep deprivation he would have to suffer through that night.  

I went to work that night with this on my brain.  I told co-workers about it, and admitted I wanted to go the rest of my life blaming every misgiving on Obama, just so I could feel the freedom from taking responsibility for anything.

“I owe more and more in taxes, thanks a lot, Obama.”

“I can’t believe the price of gas.  Thanks Obama.”

“More highway construction.  Unbelieveable, all because of Obama.”

“My electric bill is going to be two days late! Freaking Obama, man!”

“You know Obama was dealing directly with the sky gods in creating this hurricane, right?”

“My toe has been itching for days.  Thanks Obama.”

I am now firmly convinced that he was being funny, especially when two and a half weeks later another post by this same Facebook Friend appeared:

“Forecasting 5-10 inches of snow in Indianapolis tonight.

Thanks Obama.”


And now I can laugh without caution.


What is really fascinating, and also a bit disappointing, is that it’s becoming a trend.

*It’s already become a trend.

In my research, I discovered that I was not Columbus in this Obama Blame…

(Viewer discretion advised – she drops the F bomb and makes jokes about intercourse.  So if you are my mom or aunts or grandma, please don’t link this directly to your judgement of my character…it’s still pretty hilarious)


Reason #3505 I should not become an inventor: my idea is 100% already taken

In my humblest of opinions, this is really entertaining, but it’s more entertaining to hear people actually blame others for unfortunate happenings that may or may not directly correlate with the original action that eventually led to said unfortunate happenings.

For example.

This unending war.

Everyone loves to bash on Bush about it.  Hi, reminder, terrorists attacked the U.S.  What were we supposed to do?


Example #2

Obesity exists because of McDonalds, and processed food, and America.

As a female with an unending fight against love handles, all I have to say is that fruits, vegetables, and healthy food exist.  So do our brains.  We should be able to figure it out.  It’s not your fault that you are disgustingly attractive at times, McDonalds, that’s just you being amazing at marketing, and oftentimes due to alcohol and your late night hours.  It’s our fault for forgetting that your chicken nuggets may not really be as “chicken” as you claim.


Example #3

Rich people.  That’s why we’re all poor!

Um, nope.  No one gave the originators of wealth a bunch of money.  They made something and earned a profit.  That’s how it works.  In turn, the rest of us have made decisions that have led to us not earning as largely a profit.  Rich people do not look at waitresses, like myself, and then cast evil spells so I will never make money.  I just never took the time to learn how to buy and sell large companies, design killer handbags, or build a company from the ground up.  Are you picking up what I’m putting down?  Leave the rich people alone, I’m sure they give to a shit ton of chairities, and if they don’t, well, they’ll probably burn in hell.

(!? Can she say that !? )


In any case, I’m going to go ahead and shower up and get along with my day.

I’m sorry that it’s taken me weeks to post, I blame it on Obama.