Get ready, folks, I’m about to hash out the details of this weekends trip to the Broadway musical, Flashdance.

First off, no matter what kind of outing I’m attending, I will likely have the shittiest seats in the house. Tigers baseball? Nosebleed. Trisha Yearwood concert? Nosebleed. (really? Is Trisha Yearwood really the first person who came to mind?) Broadway show? Nosebleed. Dueling piano bar? Back hallway.   Where is Trish these days?

In any matter, I couldn’t see the lead actresses face, but I could see her abs from the rooftop where we sat, so at least I left with absolute confidence that I need to do a couple more sit ups.

(okay, okay, sit ups in general)

Broadway is not for everyone. Personally, I was emotionally committed from the get-go and found myself sitting at the edge of my seat with my hands over my mouth, tears filling my eyes when Alex’s friend loses her standards in the world of dancing for money when she’s lured to work for the slimy C.C. at his new club down the street. A smile curled on my lips when Nick Hurley quit his job as heir to his grandfather’s steel mill after disagreeing with the way business was being handled.

Not to mention that part when Alex was doing her stripper dance and finishes with the whole water splashing all over her nearly naked body.  You know she got the entire audience feeling something with that number.

In it’s most recent reviews, the show has been getting slammed for being “too risque” and “sleazy” with all of the exotic dance routines. Oh, West Michigan. You are so sweetly conservative. This show is based on a true story, based on true events of a girl who worked in a steel mill by day and was an exotic dancer by night, with big dreams to become more. If they didn’t include the exotic dancing part – with skin showing and hips moving – the show would have suffered to get its message across.

We are only human, however, and I did hear negative remarks as we all shuffled our way down the crowded steps from our watch tower.

“That really sucked.”

“Thank god it’s over, that took forever.”

Wow, your detailed review is mind blowing. Please tell me how you could do any of those dance moves while belting perfectly on pitch – No? you can’t even carry a tune? In which case, keep your lack of respect for the arts at home. You already know if you’re an over-analytical asshole, why are you even here?

I didn’t say that to them, and really the only thought that came to my head was, yep, you guessed it, “haters are gonna hate.”

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think it was flawless. There were a couple parts I wasn’t sold on.

For instance, I’m not sure why the judges were so impressed with her audition in one of the final scenes. This is her big moment, this is her chance to shine, to prove what she’s really made of and change the course of her life!

#1 – She comes running in, late to the audition. What in the world could be her excuse? She doesn’t give one, just whines and pleads and tells them, “You HAVE to let me audition!” Bossy-pants, USA.
#2 – She falls on her ass within the first minute of wandering around the floor, clearly displaying that her nerves never get the best of her when it’s really down to the wire.
#3 – The rest of the audition is mediocre I suppose, but the judges can’t see all those back up dancers that she’s grooving with in her mind. I’m confused. Why did the judges fall on their faces with amazement? Does the competition suck in comparison?

In any case, they got me on my feet for a standing “O,” even though I was the sole human doing so way up in the Land of the Lost.

The next day I found myself at two different supermarkets with a friend, and at each one I managed to randomly burst out into the chorus of “maniac” several different times with the “running in place” dance move to go with it. I got stares, but sometimes you just can’t fight that feeling that comes over you.

Those guys can sing. So from me they receive a big thumbs up.

I hope you chase your dreams today, just like Alex did in 1983

Cheers!