How to Date Yourself

I like being single. This may be contradictory to many posts or even thoughts that run through my head, but in truth, I do like being a single girl.

That’s a good thing, because I happen to be single a lot.

In my singlehood, I have realized the importance of being comfortable with solitude. One thing I’ve committed to doing for myself during my days (months…years) of being single is to take myself out on dates.

It’s something that was utterly lonesome and awkward in the beginning.  I would do simple things, like go get coffee, and force myself to sit with a newspaper or a book.  I would look around anxiously to see if anyone noticed how pathetic I seemed, so alone with no one to sit and sip with me.


Soon, it became easier, and I found myself easily enjoying a sandwich after a solo outing to the mall.


Eventually, I was taking myself to movies, out to nice steak dinners, shows, museums, wherever I wanted.  I would dress to impress [myself] and go out on the town.

(Now we’re talkin’)

Just the other week, I started my date at a favorite coffee joint before hitting up the local bookstore where you’re encouraged to buy a book (new or used), then grab a beer, and then enjoy said book and beer by the fire.  I was planning on topping the night off with a filet mignon at a snazzy restaurant downtown. (No, not my place of work).

My beautiful, sweet cousin works at the coffee place I speak so highly of, so when I stopped in I told her about my date night plans.  She got a kick out of it, and when she asked where I was taking myself I found myself beginning my response with, “Well, we’re planning on…”

…as in “we,” as in “more than one person,” as in “I might be slightly losing my mind.”

She graciously joked and lightly teased me about it and then proceeded to make me an insanely frothy, smooth, and perfectly balanced cappuccino.

There are many women who have questioned me anxiously after learning of my “dating habits.”

Don’t I feel embarrassed sitting all alone?

Don’t I notice the stares of others feeling sorry for me?

No, not anymore.

I’ve learned to immerse myself in a book, in the taste and smell of food, wine, coffee, with the characters and plot in a movie.  I’ve learned to hear my thoughts and allow myself to use that time to listen to what my crazy heart has to say.

As far as everyone else is concerned, they can look away if they don’t like what they see.  I’m out to enjoy time with myself and I won’t let a random stranger gawking deter me from doing just that.

Our relationship has blossomed really nicely, and I am excited to get to know myself more.

…and I’d like to strongly encourage you (without your significant other) to do the same.

There’s a quote from the movie Alice in Wonderland (the new(er) one) that I love:

“Have I gone mad?”

“I’m afraid so, you’re entirely bonkers.  But I’ll tell you a secret – all the best people are.”

Cheers to you and yourself! (more-so to me and myself, let’s be honest)

One thought on “How to Date Yourself

  1. Pingback: Turbo Dater 2000 | Hannah's Twenties

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