That night when Politics drove me to drink

If you follow this on any sort of regular basis, you probably have picked up that when it comes to politics, I hate it. Politicians (get ready for a generalization!) are schemers, and their hypocrisy makes me want to barf my brains out.

Last night our beautiful, respectable, fine dining restaurant was overflowing with politicians. 

I don’t even know if I want to say which party they were with, but I will say that most of West Michigan would be ashamed and appalled with their behavior last night. 

We’re talking an invasion of the downstairs, upstairs, in the hallways, they were basically all but in the kitchen trying to cook the food.  I think last night was one of the only nights I’ve witnessed the servers stomp around in worse moods than the cooks.

I worked with two others on one party in particular.  It started out being 20 people, quickly went up to 30, but with the “possibility of it snowballing.”  They also all wanted separate checks. 

If you haven’t worked in a restaurant before, this sucks.  This sucks more because our computer system does not make this an easy task.  Add this to people switching seats, wandering around, some, but not all, ordering food; some with two courses, others with appetizers as entrees, and what you have is an eff-ing shit show, and yes, it snowballed.

At one point my two coworkers and I had a moment to breathe and I said,

“Does anyone else feel like they are living out one of their server nightmares tonight?”

Both feverishly agreed before charging off for more politician abuse.

Server nightmares? If you don’t know, you don’t need to.  But it’s pretty self-explanatory.
I can’t even tell you how many times I proclaimed, “I want to punch a baby.”

Near the end of the night, when things were winding down and my heart and head had taken in as much ignorance and political talk as it could handle, I noticed two men had left without paying their bill.  My sweet little coworker “Megan” immediately took off after them.  Good thing, because between the two of them, they left us a penny.  I can’t even feed that to the parking meter.

Shortly after that I had four others sit down at what was quickly becoming a beautifully politician-free room, and start shouting for menus. Before they sat down, however, they managed to find our water pitcher and throw ice cubes and ice cold water into our very delicate Bordeaux glass stemware.  So right off the bat, they didn’t have my vote.

Dinner was served.  As I walked over to make sure everything was delicious, one of the women started flailing her arms about and knocked me square in the crotch.  She was unabashed, I felt slightly awkward.  Then I noticed what she was saying through her snorts of laughter.  She had her sweatshirt on her head with only her eyes showing, and was mocking, what I will just say, a culture of women.

I have never been so appalled by such a public display of disrespect.  So blatant, so ignorant. I spat in her face and then knocked her off her chair.

HAHA, no I didn’t. C’mon. I didn’t want to lose my job.

Then she didn’t leave a tip either, and I really wished I had. 

To end the night, I had to listen to two male dorks have a serious grown-up conversation on the Hunger Games series, and when one guy started saying, “..and they poison the Game master, it’s so contradictory…” was when I threw in the towel and called it a night.  The night had to be over. 

We walked away with the worst money I have ever made.

At 1:30am I was able to leave the establishment and drove straight to the nearest Meijer for a bottle of wine and pizza.  I am still so, incredibly, beyond disturbed.

Your party has super shitty people in it.  No matter who you are.  But what really breaks my heart is that in a time when each side should be asking, hoping, beseeching for each and every vote they can, that a whole group would invade a really nice restaurant, get drunk, shout their opinions, order people around as if  they’re God, not tip, and basically do everything they can to get people to hate them.  And this was all in one night!

I could go on, and on, and on with stories of last night, but I’m getting really worked up again.

I wish Abraham Lincoln was running for president again.  I’m still more likely to vote for him this time around than either candidate we have right now.  I’m so mad at everyone.  I won’t even let my dog sit on my lap.

Screw it, I’m going shoe shopping.

To all of you who treat people with respect and not with the evil hateful kind of mockery,

Cheers.

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