That time I smacked my coworker in the face

I thought he was making a fat joke!

In his defense, it was not directed in my direction at all.

In my defense, I thought it was funny, and I didn’t hit him that hard.

If you know me, you know from time to time you may make an off-handed comment about something completely random and unrelated and I will reply with “Is that a fat joke?”

This phrase was derived from a coworker from long ago who was the epitome of hysterical sarcasm, not to mention she always referred to herself as “mama,” which I found, still find, and will continue to find laugh through your nose funny.  (she was not an actual mama, and yes, this is another something I got from her)

I’ll be right back, I have egg yolk and olive oil in my hair…time to rinse it out…

Thanks for waiting! I’ll explain that in a bit.

Where were we? Ah, yes, making others feel awkward and uncomfortable by accusing them of calling you fat. 

Some immediately laugh, others are stopped in their tracks, they have no idea what just happened.

“Fat?” they think, “I thought I said I can’t believe how hugely successful her dog walking career has gotten…”

So in any case, “Daryll” said something to the extent of fatness, and I reached across the table and hit him in the ear.  So funny.

Sorry, “Daryll”! (kinda)

The whole egg yoke and olive oil thing?  You guessed it, freakin Pinterest.

2 egg yokes + 1 tbsp of olive oil + 1 cup of water, mixed.  Massage into scalp and hair follicles. Leave for 30 minutes.  Rinse.  Enjoy super shiny hair.  It’s supposed to help hair growth as well.  I’m not sure about the latter, but dang! my hair is glossy!

You should try it.