Faux Tapas

Apparantly our favorite thing to do with our Spanish visitor is make a fool out of Americans.  Which is why we took Tou to dinner last night at a “Spanish tapas bistro” to show her how authentic we keep nothing.  The food was very good, but our sweet waitress completely botched the names of each dish we ordered and Tou said that although she enjoyed many of them, none were close to the actual Spanish tapa.  Go figure!  I’m so surprised!

On a completely unrelated topic, each night I prefer to enjoy a beer in bed while watching Friends (11pm-1:30am!) and fighting with a five pound dog for some bed space.  Oftentimes I will read or write instead of turning on the boob tube, but Friends is a sick weakness, however, I will proudly say that it is one of the only television programs that really sucks me in.

Last night, during a commercial break I switched over to the E! channel right as Chelsea Lately and her panel of funny and ignorant comedian friends began ripping on Mit Romney’s wife.  Now I’m not saying I would stand on a rooftop and shout, “I’m a Republican!”  But I also wouldn’t shout, “Left wing for life!” so I wasn’t really picking a side while I listened to their rant. I also like to think I have somewhat of a sense of humor and will more often than not giggle along with Miss Handler’s sarcastic bashfests.

One thing I would shout from the rooftop in reference to politics would be “I hope we can agree that our country needs serious help so let’s try to pick the one who can help direct all those dirty, scheming politicians to pull together to get back on track and, oh say, lead our country with the utmost competence and integrity!”  Yes, I’d shout that. (let’s be honest, I’d shout “poop is stinky!” just for a laugh, but I’m trying to focus here, people.)

So anyway, back to Romney’s wife.  All she said was that her favorite show is Modern Family, and she is getting verbally assaulted nationwide with others (CL and panel) saying things to the extent of how she likes the show but doesn’t support gay marriage or abortion which will ultimately lead to her damnation.

Really? 

My favorite movie is Harry Potter.

“Oh my gosh-does that mean you hate real humans and support witchcraft and – Oh my gosh! She’s a witch! Burn her at the stake!”

What the shit?! No one does that!

As much as I love that hilarious woman I have to stand behind what I said before.  I wish people would calm down and support who they support without hating others.  I don’t know much about politics, but I know I don’t like when people start being lackadaisical with their humanity.

What’s that phrase?

Oh yeah, “to each his own”

…I like that…

Cheers!

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Reasons Why I Have Been Ignoring You

First of all, I haven’t been ignoring you.  I love you and want to have a beautifully long and loving internet relationship with you. 

Secondly, I have been a busy little bee, running all around like a crazy fool.

I drove to Chicago and sat at O’Hare International Arrivals on Sunday.  When I was 15 my family welcomed an exchange student from Spain into our home.  One decade later, Tou returned to the U.S.  All of our hearts have been so full to have her back, even if it’s only for a short five days.

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While we were waiting at the airport, we witnessed some of the most excruciatingly weird outfits, which I will not mock, because I’m currently wearing teal stretch pants and an enormous t-shirt with my hair in an obscene top-of-the-head bun.  Jean shorts, tall white socks, black flip flops, red flannel shirt, yellow undershirt, blue baseball cap.  That’s all I will say.

Then I read this article from a European newspaper someone so kindly left behind.  And it ruined my day for a bit.

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But then we grabbed this girl and took her home with us where she surprised us with, yup, you guessed it, Spanish wine!  We drank the shit out of it and I didn’t think once about that stupid article.  What do they know, anyway?

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Yesterday we ventured to Saugatuck. I have been to Saugatuck several times, and each time I thoroughly enjoy it, but yesterday I officially fell in love.  And the town loves me back.  So I’m off the market.  The great thing about Saugatuck is that it has this cozy small town feel, with streets lined with trees and adorable small shops.  It sits right on the Kalamazoo river and is a hot second away from Lake Michigan.  I have been missing the small town feel of Jackson lately, and Saugatuck calmed every nostalgic anxiety.  We are going on another date soon, and I get butterflies every time I think about it.

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After our wonderful short trip and before I scampered off to work (yuck, the bowtie) Tou introduced us to a favorite cocktail of hers.  It’s called Kalimotxo.  Red wine and coke. Its quite delicious and absolutely refreshing.  I recommend it.  Maybe today?  I also recommend using a cheap red wine, if you ruin a nice bottle of wine by throwing coca-cola in it my heart will be so broken.  I’m making a dumb face because I was drinking coffee instead.  It’s frowned upon in Michigan culture to show up to work reaking of booze.image

We met up again later to top the night off with a drink at Cygnus downtown Grand Rapids and felt really fancy. We met a man named Len from Chatanooga, Tennessee.  At one point he found out that my mother had three other daughters and he said, “How did dad survive?”  So….I rest my case.

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To begin my afternoon, Tou made a Spanish Omelette for us.  It was cussing delicious and now I’m drifitng into a definite food coma.  In Spain, she always has a beer with her omelette.  So in order to experience Spanish culture, we had a beer also.  It was so amazing.  So amazing that we are doing it again tomorrow, with a tutorial.  I already have more beer chilling in the fridge.  What did that article say again? I forget.

My heart is so happy with a lot of happiness. 

I promise I will put more effort into this relationship. 

Cheers!

 Dresscapade

Image Per your (maybe not YOU specifically) request, here are some pictures of the dresscapade I went on.  However, to fully capture its epic-ness, I had to schedule a reshoot this morning after I rolled out of bed.  Thankfully, my sweet sister and my dear nephew had spent the night and were more than obligated, I mean willing, to help.  The above and below dress belonged to Rachel, the picture  includes really rad dance moves and a super old family photo poking through in the background.  Her first comment when I walked out was “Oh my gosh, isn’t mine the prettiest?” and followed by a more nostalgic, “Aww, I want to have my wedding day again.” Image   This is Bekah’s. And no, I couldn’t get it zipped.  She is the size of my left ankle.  I remember before her wedding she would have a cup of chili during the day so she could have her beer at night.  …I’d marry her if I could. Image Image Side note: She wanted a simple gown, then I brought her this one to try on and BOOM! Just like that she was a born again poofy dress believer. Dylan photo interlude. Him and “Doop” Image This masterpiece was a bridesmaids dress from one of my aunt’s weddings.  I want to say Aunt Judy? This needs to be worn in public. Soon. Image This is my sister, Leah’s, junior bridesmaids dress for my Aunt Barb’s wedding… Image And this is the bow… Image Another Dylan interlude…Rach thought this one of his butt was so funny… Image Awww look at that snot face! Melt my heart why don’t you! Image Sarah’s dress. Quite elegant, awesome train not pictured Image Oh boy, favorite dress of the day, hands down.  I might wear this out on the town sometime.  Another dress from Aunt Barb’s wedding. Image I mean, come on… Image D providing some light background music.  I think it was Chopin today. Image Mother-of-the-bride dresses.  #1 Image #2 cuffs were awesome, I kind of want to go see the opera in this one. Mom, can I borrow this? (yes, that’s a dirty diaper on the arm of the chair.) Image #3 All I can say is my cleavage was out of control in this one. Image I’m clearly starting to get sick of this shit.  Bekah’s bridesmaid dress below, which was also worn three separate times by different girls at high school dances.  We really got our moneys worth! Image Leah’s bridesmaids dress.  Clearly still uninspired, Rachel suggested I start twirling… Image Best advice to give to me ever apparantly. Image I could’ve twirled forever. Image I’ll leave you with this one of D, “Where are my Freaking spagettio-Os!?!?!?” Image Fun, right? You will seriously be seeing me in the black and pink number one of these nights… cheers!

That time I smacked my coworker in the face

I thought he was making a fat joke!

In his defense, it was not directed in my direction at all.

In my defense, I thought it was funny, and I didn’t hit him that hard.

If you know me, you know from time to time you may make an off-handed comment about something completely random and unrelated and I will reply with “Is that a fat joke?”

This phrase was derived from a coworker from long ago who was the epitome of hysterical sarcasm, not to mention she always referred to herself as “mama,” which I found, still find, and will continue to find laugh through your nose funny.  (she was not an actual mama, and yes, this is another something I got from her)

I’ll be right back, I have egg yolk and olive oil in my hair…time to rinse it out…

Thanks for waiting! I’ll explain that in a bit.

Where were we? Ah, yes, making others feel awkward and uncomfortable by accusing them of calling you fat. 

Some immediately laugh, others are stopped in their tracks, they have no idea what just happened.

“Fat?” they think, “I thought I said I can’t believe how hugely successful her dog walking career has gotten…”

So in any case, “Daryll” said something to the extent of fatness, and I reached across the table and hit him in the ear.  So funny.

Sorry, “Daryll”! (kinda)

The whole egg yoke and olive oil thing?  You guessed it, freakin Pinterest.

2 egg yokes + 1 tbsp of olive oil + 1 cup of water, mixed.  Massage into scalp and hair follicles. Leave for 30 minutes.  Rinse.  Enjoy super shiny hair.  It’s supposed to help hair growth as well.  I’m not sure about the latter, but dang! my hair is glossy!

You should try it.

Cheers!

As you know, I …

As you know, I have four older sisters. 

“oh my gosh, five girls? Your poor dad!”

My immediate response is always, “No way, we were the bomb, not to mention hysterical.  He loved it.”

But then I really get thinking and although I generally hold my ground on my reaction, I must say, yes, my poor dad, but why do people never say “Your poor mother!”?

I think she’s the one who really had to deal with most of the girl fights, the snotty attitudes, the serious talks, etc.

She put up with a lot of combative estrogen.

Somehow, we all survived, and now my four older sisters are all very happily married with children. (wasn’t that a tv show?)

Today, I tried on three of their wedding dresses.  I have no idea why, I was home alone and going through old closets when I stumbled across these splendid, poofy gowns.  I couldn’t resist (who could?!) Even my dog stared at me like I had lost my larrys.  I was tempted to photograph and post each dress, and then realized how creepy I was being, especially since I’m somewhat of a nuptial cynic.

After the dresses I discovered my mother has kept most of our high school prom dresses, every single bridesmaid dress any of us have ever worn, (there’s a lot) and mother-of-the-bride dresses as well.  So I tried those on too.  I may have to post some of the most epic and horrific.  Perhaps I’ll surprise you with that tomorrow.

I’m not quite sure what brought on this gown donning escapade, but it was entertaining enough for a Wednesday afternoon.  Perhaps it’s because of all these weddings coming up in the next couple months…who knows.

I apologize, but that’s really all I have for you today.  That’s just how exciting my life is, I guess!

Cheers!

Vodka and Philosophy on being Poorer than Cuss

First off, I’d like to say a huge THANKS for all the responses I’ve received so far to this beautiful adventure I’ve begun called blogging. It means the world to hear feedback, so if you are one of those people, you truly are the bomb, and I will strive to continue to entertain (or perhaps offend?) you as best I possibly can. Each and every comment, message, or text you’ve made is completely appreciated. On the flip side, if you think everything I write is stupid and weird, I highly recommend looking away. Why are you even at this site? Waste your time much? Sheesh!

Secondly, I’m hungry, and since I was told I was not needed tonight at that magnificent place where there is endless amounts of food, I must fend for myself. If you know me at all, this could get tricky, fast. Especially when my parents have crackers, orange juice, milk, vodka and wine in the house. Have you caught on yet? Most of that list does not qualify as food.

So shoot, I guess I’ll start with a nice mixed drink! Pomegranate infused vodka, sprite, water, dash of Chambord. Beautiful, icy goodness. As far as food goes I have decided to soften up some linguini and add sautéed mushrooms and onion. I went ahead and got super creative, huh?

So anyway, what I really wanted to write about tonight would be the pros and cons of being poorer than shit.

Now, I know that I haven’t finished college and I work at a restaurant and that I’ve complained about both, but those factors actually contribute very little to my being poorer than shit. My problem is pretty simple. I suck with money.

(Does she really have pros in this list?) Oh, my sweet internet sweethearts, I most certainly do.

Positive things about being poorer than shit:

-Possessions come AFTER time spent with others

I would much rather spend the little money I have on experiences with people I think are neat. Currently, I could really use a nice pair of closed toed shoes, being that I have one pair of sandals (thanks, Coop) or winter boots. Fall is fast approaching, but I don’t know if it’s necessary to dive right into the Sorel snow boots. Somehow, simple shoes are put on the back burner.

Cons to being poorer than shit:

-At 25 I would love to continue living on my own as I did out west. But, instead of spending money on rent, I’m attempting to perhaps (eventually) pay off some debt. Thank you to my dear, sweet, accepting mother and father, for welcoming me back in to your home. Some day, I solemnly swear you will be empty nesters. (Wait, this is also a pro, because I have the opportunity to save…and because my parents are actually pretty fantastic..)

You know what? I no longer want to make this list. As I sit here and think of pros and cons I could continue to list I realize that most of the cons I could quickly re-invent to become pros. In the end, however, it’s how you look at the things that challenge you in life. Currently, yes, I can’t afford a thing, and that stinks. And yes, it’s mostly because of the stupid student loans I’m paying off because society pushed me to go to college and reassured me I “wouldn’t even notice paying them off.” (I cussing notice, you liars!) But it’s also the problem that I just need to put some effort in to spending more wisely, so really I can’t blame many factors.

So I surrender, I am bitter about the student loan thing. But not about being poor. I could be sick or be homeless, and what if I had awful vision!? (Oh wait…) It’s a chapter in life.

The truly beautiful thing about this is that I’m not unhappy. I’m still making wonderful memories with people I so truly care about and love, and the best part is that we can always look down the road and be assured that we have so many moments of pure joy that we have yet to experience. I mean, honestly, isn’t that really great to think about?

Just the pep talk I needed.

I’m going to go paint now since I’m feeling all philosophical.

Cheers!

Untwist Panties Before Entering

Good morning, Friends!

You are so right! It’s 10:30 am and I have been enjoying the morning for an entire hour and a half so far!  It’s been gorgeous too, and boy do I have a fantastic coffee buzz to match.

Last night I had a most amazing evening of reminiscence with my sister and an old, dear friend.  This friend is super intelligent.  He was majoring in political science and history before switching over to broadcasting (in which he will dominate, seriously, if you like talking sports, or anything else, call him up).   He is also an avid gardener, hunter and gold panner as well, so you can imagine the knowledge he offers up.

Being that mine (and my sister’s) political view is somewhat lethargic and meandering, it was terrifyingly fun to hear his unbiased (well, and biased) take on what’s happening in America.

I can’t get into it with you, but it can be fascinating to learn from friends that have a lot to say on topics you may have absolutely no interest in. 

So why is it when people get into political discussions, that everyone gets so pissed off and snarky?  I mean, shouldn’t there be room for debate, and isn’t cross-examination at least a little healthy?  We may just all be a little too sensitive…or perhaps stupid. 

(She’s calling me stupid, what a B*$*#) No I’m not…well, maybe!

Not stupid, but you may qualify as uniformed, maybe even as uninformed as myself.  As I realized last night, there is an endless amount going on in our government, and I don’t even understand the first layer. Thank goodness, it seems to get really dark and inky and sad the further you go, but I should still know more than I do.  And I think that goes for all of us, especially before we update our Facebook status with an ignorant rant about part of an article we just read and clearly did not understand .  Seriously, untwist those panties, take a deep breath, and may I suggest a popsicle? They have quite the calming effect.

Man, this perfume smells so weird, I think a shower is in order.

Cheers!

Operation No More Sleeping ’til Noon

I’m not an infant.  I know that I need 7-8 hours of sleep to function at top level.

Somehow, despite usually falling asleep between 2 and 4am I manage a whole lot of extra sleeptime.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Yes, I sleep through half the day.

It means I’m not as productive, active, productive, or productive as I’d like to be. To change this disgusting habit, however, requires exactly that, change.  I’ve never been a morning person, and having an evening job does not help my cause, but those are little evil things I’ve mastered called excuses.

So dare I say a valid attempt will be made to transform in to an early riser?

I’m reading Small Wonder by Barbara Kingsolver and she has some pretty freaking amazing quotes that I want to tattoo on myself, they’re that good. 

“The changes we dread most may contain our salvation. And the stinging truth that we aren’t entirely loved for our ways in this world?  Like the bear, this thing could eat us up or save us.  We will see.”

Oh boy, is Hannah still talking about sleeping in?

Your guess is as good as mine 😉

It’s a good read, though, highly recommended.

In other news, this city is a great one.  That’s right, people, the Big Apple in all her splendor.  I need another visit.

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That cute one in the red hat? Yes, that sweet face is one I would love to see in person again.  Im thinking this needs to happen.

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Hi, can I be here now, please?  This image is thanks to my dear friend, Betsy.  Visit her Facebook page, Betsy Schipper Photography.  She knows what’s up.

And thus another session comes to a close.  I hope today I left you with perhaps an unsettling feeling to no longer sleep in until noon (clearly my objective for today…) or maybe, just maybe, you now have that itch that only countless taxis and hundreds of skyscrapers can scratch.  Either way. I love you all.

Until next time,

Cheers!

On the Topic of Irrigation Techniques

Yeah definitely not writing about that.  You always fall for it!

Today will be a one sided discussion on dropping out of college. I might even share Kanye’s view. (off the record!)

I meet a lot of people in my line of work.  Sometimes we don’t get to know eachother at all.  I tell them about the food, they order it, I bring it to them, they rave about how insanely great the service is, they leave.  Other times, the conversation is slightly more in depth than “Medium rare, please,” and will more than likely lead to them asking where I went to college.

This is a fun point.  I love saying that I dropped out and ran away and am now paying for a degree I never received. More often than not the reply is a scolding of some sort. “You’re planning on going back and finishing, right?”  “You know there’s nothing more important than a college education, so I hope you’re eventually going back.”

It’s amazing how this stranger I met only two courses ago can so casually suggest I’ve made an enormous mistake in choosing to leave the world of higher education.  Not to say I think they’re wrong, but I don’t usually meet people and 10 minutes into the conversation imply a direction in life they would regret not taking. 

Please don’t lay a guilt trip on your waitress, she would most likely choose to be doing something else, far from the server world.  However, maybe not.  Your server may be so happy with the life they’re living, so let’s not assume anything.

In my case, the only regret I have was going in the first place.  I was never confident in what I wanted to go for, and my majors ranged in wildly separate spectrums. We’re talking from photojournalism to exercise science (commitment issues, remember?) 

Perhaps I’ll go back to school someday, but I don’t think my happiness or my future solely depend on it. 

What’s that commercial, with the family asking questions and the mom always say “no” ? 

At one point the dad says, “Honey, can I quit my job and start a blog?”

Cracks me up every time.

Cheers!

Happy Hour, Anyone?

I have a very firm belief in happy hour.   Whether your happy hour is at noon, 5, or midnight, a time of relaxation and beverage enjoyment should always be recognized.  I’m a personal advocate of “the more the merrier,” so I like to incorporate as many of these hours as I can.  Unfortunately, my job and lifestyle do not usually accomodate such a whimsical day, but an effort should always be made, right?

Now don’t start waving that judgemental finger at me, that’s rude, and most likely you are just as messed up as I am.  Besides, this space was meant for honesty, and I honestly respect a good wine, and any bartender, wine connoisseur, or any self-proclaimed foodie will most likely agree. 

I know many were not wired to handle any of these spirits even in small bits, and I actually do not feel sorry for these folks.  They will most likely not take happy hour enjoyment to the level of spending a night in an alley, or head on a dirty bar, and they will always remember where all that money went. (not all personal experiences, people)

For the rest of us, however, it’s a seemingly endless art to master- Finding that Level and Maintaining. Maybe not, maybe we can sit on the deck and enjoy just one, but either way, can we please do that now?

Even 50cent sang so eloquently, “..we gonna sip Bacardi like it’s yo birfday.”

Or Snoop Dogg (woops! I meant Snoop Lion) “…sippin’ on gin and juice…”

Rihanna said it “..so everybody put your glasses up and I’ll drink to that..”

Toby Keith and Willie Nelson gave whiskey to their men and then beer to their horses!

Jamie Foxx is a little negative and blames it all on the alcohol…so disregard him.

Gretchen Wilson is always “Here for the party”…she’s a hot mess.

and who doesn’t have a great time with Jimmy Buffet in Margaritaville?

 

I hope you find an old friend to sit with you and enjoy a brew…or two or seven.

Cheers!!